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February 18th, 2010


02:17 pm - WOW
WOW I forgot I had a Live journal LOL!!! I might still keep this because I have to many stalkers on Facebook. There's nothing more stupid then having a family member bring up your Facebook status in public. This has unfortunately happened to me on several different occasions. But on to more serious things. I've been doing ok since Dad died. I know it in my brain that he is gone but in my heart I still keep felling that he's gonna come home. That maybe this is a crazy dream that I will wake up from very very very soon.

I miss Daddy so much. I don't know how life is going to be without him. I feel so many different things My last words to Dad were "Goodbye and were going to the grocery store what do you want?" He told me he wanted fig bars and apple butter. Im just so sad and I feel lost without my Dad. I feel such great disappointment.I don't know where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do. I just feel lost and tired. I really cant wait for Dad's funeral to be over. Im so very tired right now and I think I'm honestly going to book a hotel room for a few days after Dad's funeral. I need to get away from Cambridge.
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed

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October 10th, 2009


07:25 pm - $$$$$$$$ MONEY
Will blog and use livejournal for food. :( You know what. Ive noticed something. I have a track record for only keeping a job for up to three years. I was at Maid Brigade for at least a year. Then I was the Hyatt for two and a half years. Then I was at Parole and Probation for about two years and nine months. Maybe the next job ill get ill at least have it for three years or more. As much as it pained me to leave Parole and Probation I had to.

13 hours a week and working three days out of the week and having to go to Easton was not worth it at all. I dont know where my next job is gonna come from but Im just gonna use this as an oppurtunity to go to school full time. Im taking three classes this semester. Next semester Im going to take a full course load. Its taking me way to long to just get my associate's degree. I know that if I get my degree ill get a better job. Im just gonna have faith and trust in the Lord about my next job.
Current Location: Aunt Pat's house
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Kung Fu Panda

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September 21st, 2009


03:46 pm - Ever Wonder.....
I really think that my boss is psychic or something.I think she knows what im thinkig and that she tryin to avoid me. Ive come to the conclusion that Im going to quit my job.I decided I was going to do this after they told me that my hours were going to be cut. This was last Tuesday. On Wensday I was going to come in and tell her that Im quiting. But she wasent there!!!

My boss has not been to work since last Tuesday!!! She better been in to work tomorrow. Cause Im not trying to put this off anymore. IM DONE!Its no point in me being there at all. They have cut my hours SEVERLY!!! Im going from 15 hours a week to 13 or 14 a week. They also still want me to work in both the office in Easton and Cambridge. Ive had enough of it. Im quiting. I have no idea what I'm gonna do.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: Greys Anatomy

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July 9th, 2009


06:41 pm - whatever
So they cut my hours on my job. Ive gone from 40 every two weeks to 30 every two weeks. YIPPIE!!!! Horrah for loosing money. Im trying to stay positive about the situation. I can at least say that I have a job. It could be a lot worse then what it already is.Man I need another job BADLY! At this rate I dont see how im going to be able to pay for my car note. I just don't know what to do. People are loosing jobs and being fired everywhere so where should I go and move to in order to find a better job?

Ive really always wanted to move to Baltimore in order to find work and to just get away from my family who are driving me up the wall. I mean there not doing anything horrible its just little small things that urk me. That and my Momther can get really smart with me over stupid things. Like she will ask me to do something for her but get just really smart in the mouth if i cant give her a chart/time line of when it will be done. Sometimes I really wanna scream at her cause she can be a real nut. Im like ok im 24 years of age and Im so helpful with the church and around the house. So why do you see the need to nag me all the live long day and talk to me like im five.

I pray to God that I can get a better job because I need my own place. Both of my parents are geting on my nerves. Mostly my Mother though. I just want my own space and not have to worry about dealing with either of them. My parents aren't bad people or anything. They dont fight or cause me any trouble. I just want to have my own space and be away from them. But I cant do that only working 15 hours a week. I really hope that something can happen so I can progress with my life.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Hesitation-Saber Marionette J Agian

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June 7th, 2009


06:23 am - what to do
So Im kind of at a crossroads right now. I have a job interview on monday for an adminstrative assistant position. Its at the Eastern Shore Area Health Center. Its here in town. But Im a little worried because the amount of money that I would be earning was not posted with the job announcment. Im like ok.....is it a small amount of money or not. Im really afraid of geting to the interview and they tell me that the job pays for under $10.00 an hour. Also this job is part time and the secretary gave me the impression that I would work on a whenever they need me basis. I really dont know what she meant by that. Would it be like ok they only need me for three days this week so thats all ill do. On the other hand the place is open from 8:30-4:30 and its not open on weekends.

Also im really tired of working at parole and probation. Im geting no where fast. I tell people where I work at and there like oh thats nice. Yes it sounds nice but it's really not. I know thats there is no perfect work enviornment. There will always be lazy people and bosses who dont know anything. But I need to be somewhere where I can florish and get ahead in life. I need a job where I feel ike ok if I achieve this and do well here maybe I can go on to something better. Instead of being stuck and knowing im not gonna go anywhere,not gonna get a better position or get a raise for that matter. This is tough cause it's a state job and those things just dont fall out of the sky everyday.

But working part time and on a contract for the past three years.....ive had enough. Plus the state has no money in the budget to hire anybody. There are position that need to be filled that are more important then mine and they wont fill the positions in. Plus I live in Cambridge in there are not many good job openings that dont require a degree. Then there is the recession. Lots of people have lost there jobs and not many are being made. So I just might have to leave parole and probation if I want to get ahead in life. Ill see how things go tomorrow with this job interwiew. If they offer me more money and hours I just might have to leave parole and probation.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Action-Clamp In Wonderland 2

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May 26th, 2009


09:21 pm - keep tryin
I just gonna keep this short and sweet. I dont wanna go on and on forever and ever. Ive had a lot of stuff on my mind. But one topic in particular is school. Ive come to this basic conclusion. Im not perfect and this past semester I bite off more then I could chew. Ive been stressing myself out over this past semester and what im goona do so I wont repeat the same mistakes I made this spring. Half of my problem is graduating based off of my own time table that is ridiculous with in it self. The other half of my problem is im in a hurry to get a degree so I can get a better job.But im going to do my best not to let myself get down. I have to keep moving. I cant allow one mistake to get me down. Summer semester is coming and Im gonna take a psychology course. I wont make the same mistake agian. I can do this. I know I can.

Working where I am at now has shown me that I have no choice but to go to school. I have a pretty good resume so far but Im really limited to clerical jobs. About two weeks ago I applied for an administrative assistant position at the Eastern Shore Area Health Center. The position is in Cambridge. Thankfully they dont require you to have a Bachelors just your highschool diploma.But Im a little worried because they did not put down how much the hourly pay would be. I hope the pay is good. But I wonder if they pay is so low that they would be afraid that no one would apply for it.But so far so good I recieved a letter saying that my resume is being considered. They also said that it was going to take a few weeks untill they made there decision. So Im just going to pray and hope for the best.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Utada Hikaru- Keep Tryin

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May 5th, 2009


06:33 pm
CALL ME AUDRA!!!!!!!!!!!! Im going to Harelm tomorrow and then im going home Thursday morning.
Current Location: Jersey
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: The tv

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April 13th, 2009


05:56 pm
So as of today Im going to be taking two secrets to my grave AKA NOT TELLIN MY MOM ANYTHING. I dont mind sharing them withyou guys though. Mostly cause there not that serious and my Mom couldnt find my LJ if she had a map. But anyway today I went ahead and droped out of US World History. It was just two much stress with that class. Plus I had fallen behind so badly really. Im very upset and mad with myself that I had to drop the class. But it was causing me a lot of stress. Mostly due to the fact that church activities were takin my time up and I couldnt do my history work. But its ok though.

Now heres the other secret im takin to the grave. I filled my taxes at H&R Block. Yes oh so shocking!!!! Well my Mom wanted me to go to the library cause they will do it for free. But I didnt feel like going there and siting there forever with those little old ladies. I figured I would go ahead and bit the bullet and pay for them to do it at H&R block. While we were filling I found out I could get some back because I paid for my classes myself.I decided that the money im going to get back ill use to pay for the class agian. so everything will work out well.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: The TV

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March 17th, 2009


06:46 pm - Hope for a better tomorrow
Days like today, I really hope that the economy gets better because Im starting to hate my job. The money I earn sucks and my co worker is a lazy moron. My hands are tied and there is nothing I can do. Driving back and forth to Easton is racking up miles on my car and Im so tired of being there. Ive been there for three years and im tired of it. Today I came in and there was a mountain and a valley of paperwork on my desk. I cut it in half and put it on my co-workers desk. I worked all morning while he walked around talking on his cellphone. I know I know I should report him etc etc. But as you all know my hands are tied and there isent anything I can do really. Im pretty much geting no where fast. If I could afford to quite I would in a heartbeat.

At this point I dont care if the job is not a state job. Im leaving. Really my whole job situation is not the only thing thats bothering me right now. I have so much stuff on my mind. But Im really not in the mood to talk about it. Or rather I just dont wanna post it here on LJ. Ill just put it like this. There's some decessions I need to make in order to improve my life. Or that I hope would improve my life. Ive been thinking about a lot of things lately and praying about it as well. But it's hard to hear myself think in this house.Also I hope that these decisions will help me to keep my promise with myself. The promise that I made with myself a few years ago. I refuse to break this promise no matter what.
Current Location: My messy room
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: The Tv

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March 12th, 2009


10:37 am - Close call
Ok so Mom is fine now. Mom and Dad did not get home untill like three in the morning. I went to sleep around two thirty. I checked on her at eight. I had to wake up and call work and tell them I was not coming in today. It was just to much. There was no way I could get through work let alone DRIVE to work with only maybe three and a half hours of sleep under my belt. But I talked to Mommy today and what she was was like some sort of extreme acid reflux attack.

I really thought she was having a heart attack cause she keep grabing at her chest. But she was also grabing at her throat as well. She may have to have the doctor open up her esophagus to help her with that. Im feeling much better really. My post last night was very raw and very real. Im just glad that it was some sort of extreme acid reflux and not a heart attack. Im happy and im feelin better and so is Mommy.
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Current Music: The tv

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